Throughout the course of my life, I find that I read different parts of the paper. When I first started, I think I probably only read the comics (they were probably called the “funny papers” back then). One day I started reading the sports section, because there was something or other that I found interesting. Then I found myself wandering into the business pages, even though I have no business aptitude. I find it interesting.
These days, I typically browse through most of the paper, typically still on my way to the business section or the sports, with a stop at the comics now and again. But what really gets me is why there is just about always an ad in the sports section for an enhancement of some kind or another. If it’s not for the best sex that I’ve ever had, it’s for the guy who ate plankton and cured his cancer. Now it’s not that I’m not happy for the guy or anything, but come on!
I actually stopped and read that one the other day, and down there in the middle of the article, it says that they (I’m not sure who they are, but it sounds important) tell him that their marine phytoplankton is 100% natural and just “loaded with all kinds of good, nutritional stuff from the ocean and is of the highest quality plankton available today”. Huh. I guess it was worth reading, because I was getting ready to head out to the store and buy some of the cheapo plankton instead of this high-grade stuff.
Lest you miss one of these enhancement options, you might find an ad for someplace you’d like to use one of the things, such as the Uptown Cabaret or the Alpine Health Club in Salisbury. Now don’t get me wrong – I’m not a prude, but can’t we just have some good, old fashioned sports in the sports pages?
If they have to sell these ads, put them somewhere else so I don’t have to deal with them, and fill up the vacant pages with some real sports, like Demolition Derbies, Lawn Mower Racing and Strongman Competitions, not this trash.