The Great Thanksgiving Food Poisoning Virus From Hell

I have to say that Thanksgiving is, hands down, becoming my favorite holiday. Yes, this is at least partially because I like to eat. But it’s also because there is very little work involved. And no, this does not mean that I don’t do any work for Thanksgiving. But every other holiday requires a reasonable amount of effort – at least for the amount of enjoyment that I receive. Not Thanksgiving.

I will also admit that when I was younger, I received a decent amount of enjoyment from Halloween. But as I grow older, Halloween has lost some of its luster. I suppose you could chalk this up to maturity, but let’s face it. Would you put me and maturity in the same sentence? I didn’t think so. It simply must be something else.

As the years go by, I simply find myself enjoying the other holidays less and less. They involve so much more work and there is less to get back out of them. Perhaps I’m getting selfish in my old age. But not Thanksgiving. Sure, there is some cooking involved. But once that is done, it’s all about sitting back and enjoying the feast with family. Unfortunately this year, even Thanksgiving was a bit of a disaster.

The actual day went a bit awry because our turkey breast simply refused to get done. Several years ago we decided to forego the more typical whole turkey, simply because it’s more work. The turkey breast was not only more economical, it provided an ample amount of food and a more enjoyable time for all. But this year the darn thing simply didn’t want to get finished. So that started things off on the wrong foot. But once everything was done, it seemed that we were going along nicely. That’s always the case, isn’t it?

Unfortunately, that night, my beautiful wife had a horrible night of getting up every five minutes to visit the bathroom, for about twelve hours in a row. As you have already read about in My First and Last Black Friday, I got up very early the next day, so I didn’t get a lot of sleep already, and this simply compounded the fact by a very large amount. It wasn’t a good night. Then on Saturday, it hit me. We couldn’t figure out how the two of us were sick and no one else was. Don’t get me wrong – we weren’t trying to get everyone else sick, we were simply trying to solve the riddle.

On Monday, when my wife went to work, she talked with her coworkers and found out that every single one of the eight of them who went out to eat on Wednesday had become sick on Thursday, just like she had. To make things even more interesting, several of these coworkers are vegetarians. So it’s not like they ate the same thing. Go figure. Then, each of the people who brought leftovers home had spouses who ate them, and they got sick as well. Talk about a solution. It seems we had found it.

The restaurant in question was informed, but they didn’t seem to be too concerned. One of the members of the part happened to be out of town and his parents took him to the hospital for an IV to combat dehydration. He seems intent on suing. We aren’t going to do so, but it will be interesting to watch. The restaurant didn’t seem too concerned – or at least the person who answered the phone didn’t. Apparently the health inspector did. They will be sending a surprise inspection by to see how things look.

About a week later, the kids came home from school suffering from similar symptoms – upon visiting the doctor, it seems that a virus of some sort is making the rounds at the school. I know I’m getting up there in years, but I don’t have any recollection of a virus that makes you run to the bathroom every five to ten minutes and completely incapable of holding down any sort of anything. I think I would have remembered that.

In any case, I think we are finally past everything and on our way to a full recovery. Now we just have to get ready for Christmas.

Update: It seems that 160300 others at an Olive Garden experienced (or are experiencing) the same thing in Indianapolis. We’re not alone! Leaders, perhaps, but not alone!