The Joy of a Child »
Many of you may know that a few years ago, when I married my wife, I not only became a husband, but I became a father at the same time, because my wife had two children from a prior marriage. For a long time I had told myself that I wasn't planning to date anyone who had been married because I didn't want to deal with the issues that may arise. I also didn't want to be with someone who had children for the same reasons. Naturally, the universe saw to it that I had both.
As I am adopted myself, I don't think that it matters at all that I am not the biological father of the children, and I am certainly glad that I had a chance to know them when they were younger (meaning before we were married), as that has made the transition all the easier. In fact, our youngest I have known since he was born, and our oldest I have known since he was perhaps one. It is as if they are my own. I'm sure it would be that way regardless, but it is just that much easier.
Naturally that doesn't mean that it is all sunshine and rose petals - we definitely have our moments, and as both of our boys are growing up, there are certainly more of them all the time. We are fortunate that they are not yet teenagers (that will come all too soon), but they are branching out, starting to realize that there is more to this world that they have yet to encounter, and so we are trying to teach them about things that they may run into outside our walled garden.
One of the things that we find most frustrating is that they can't simply take everything for granted. Unfortunately, it's one of the hardest things to teach, because we want to give to them whatever they may like. We try not to be horrible parents, but when we give them things and they don't take care of them and the dogs eat them, it's just frustrating, you know? Especially when it happens more than once!
But those times are actually overridden as well. For instance, neither of our boys are particularly athletic. Though I may not be their biological father, they probably take after me, and are more interested in the computer. Still, we try and get them outside, and interested in sports for both the activity it provides and the social stimulation it can get them. Baseball and basketball haven't gone well.
When our youngest played baseball, he had exactly one hit. It was near the end of the season and it was so unexpected that it actually stopped play. Everyone on both teams celebrated. I have the ball on my desk. It was just one of those moments.
Another one came up this past weekend during a soccer game. Surprisingly, our youngest seems to actually enjoy soccer. I mean really enjoy it. This is unusual for him. Though he has boundless energy, he doesn't like it to be harnessed by other people in something like a sport - it's too much like people telling him what to do.
So when we found out that he was enjoying soccer, it was a pleasant surprise. And when his grandparents came to town for the game this weekend to see him play, it was a real treat to see him play. I don't know if that had anything to do with it, but he was running like crazy and he nearly scored a goal. Of course, his grandmother (that would be his mother's mom) was in the bathroom at the the time. So in that way, it's good that he didn't. But not long after, he looked like he had been playing for years (and this is his first year playing), dribbling the ball around several defenders at a time - and the next time down the field he actually did score. It was unbelievable!
Unfortunately, they didn't let me keep that ball.
