Don't Back Down

For a while now, Charlotte has wanted people to think that we're a world-class city - that when other people take a look at us, they see something different, that they just can't find elsewhere. Now they should rest easy knowing that we've arrived, for in Charlotte, our criminals don't just stop at one crime, they commit multiple crimes at once.

Not content with simple armed robbery, they have to take along their month-old child. If that's not child abuse, I don't know what is. That poor kid will have therapy bills for life. I guess you have to give the parents credit in that they put him in the back seat, right? But wait - that's not all. You don't think we could be a world-class city with something this mundane, do you? Not a chance.

These class-act parents that should surely win an award were definitely thoughtful when they took their month-old baby with them on a crime spree (okay, a single robbery probably doesn't classify as a spree, but it sounds better). Eventually it comes out that they left a 1 and 2-year-old at home, alone, unsupervised. Apparently in Charlotte, you grow up fast. Real fast.

After looking further into the history of the parents, it turns out that they have prior traffic offenses and that they have been arrested for assault and battery. Now tell me - with Charlotte offering such amenities as citizenry like this, don't you want to come visit?